Jacob Elordi would be the totally wrong choice to play James Bond

The name’s Cliff. Heathcliff.

Yes, the latest man (of about a trillion) to be bandied about as the next possible James Bond is Jacob Elordi, the Australian star of “Wuthering Heights,” “Frankenstein” and HBO’s hit drama series “Euphoria.” 

The Aston Martin of gossip has gone into high gear this weekend because the 28-year-old just appeared in a new Bleu de Chanel ad, wearing a slick black suit and breaking into a high-tech safe. The debonair actor certainly looks the part. 

Elordi also balletically dances in the video, like it’s “Bond Lake.” He’s got a license to pirouette. Studio execs told Page Six Hollywood’s Tatiana Siegel that the sexy commercial is “the best Bond audition reel ever created.”

Could be. Elordi is a major, chiseled talent whose fame has risen sharply since he played Nate on “Euphoria” and starred in the films “Saltburn” and “Priscilla.” He’s part of a generation of popular young celebs — Zendaya, Timothée Chalamet, Tom Holland and Austin Butler among them — who have rapidly made the hot names of yore look awfully long in the tooth.

And yet that swift ascent is exactly why Elordi cannot play 007. The Aussie is already far too well-known. He’s an Oscar nominee! And the Bond franchise, which was recently acquired by Amazon and has so far gone five years without a new film, is in desperate need of an energizing restart.

I suspect clearer heads will prevail and it will ultimately get one. Page Six also reported that Amazon/MGM wants an actor under 30 who’s British (or Irish, like Pierce Brosnan, or Australian, like George Lazenby). Director Denis Villeneuve (“Dune”), meanwhile, is said to be seeking a “fresh face.”

Combined, those are all the right instincts.

Their criteria would eliminate frequently discussed contenders Aaron Taylor-Johnson (35) and Callum Turner (36), which is for the best. Yawns, both. And it would open the door to an actor who could fully become James Bond in the minds of billions. A true unveiling would create a much bigger draw than choosing one of 20 well-established Brits.

Casting director Nina Gold is leading the high-stakes search. She’s a great pick. Gold also cast “The Crown,” which catapulted Claire Foy, Josh O’Connor and Emma Corrin to stardom, as well as “Game of Thrones,” which turned Emilia Clarke, Lena Headey and Kit Harrington into household names.

James Bond exists within the sweet spot of those two TV shows. 

Queen Elizabeth, played by Foy, was the most famous and recognizable woman in the world — the Bond of real people — which required a relatively unknown actress to play her believably. And “Game of Thrones” is pure escapism, like 007, needing audiences to disconnect from reality to immerse themselves in Westeros. Doing that took unfamiliar faces. 

That tactic jives with the super spy franchise’s long history of discovering or enhancing its marquee names. Sean Connery, Timothy Dalton and Daniel Craig all came to prominence playing 007. Lazenby was a model with no prior acting experience. Roger Moore and Brosnan were, indeed, famous, but especially for playing spies and detectives on TV.

This is why Idris Elba and Henry Cavill were always ridiculous ideas. They were much too huge. And as far as this action franchise goes, those guys are pretty much in a retirement home now. 

A good model for what Bond should do is our current Spider-Man, Tom Holland, who’s the best to ever play the Marvel role. When the now-29-year-old Brit was announced as the next Spidey in 2015, he was most recognizable as a replacement Billy in the London stage show “Billy Elliot: The Musical.” A k a not recognizable at all.

As soon as “Captain America: Civil War” came out the following year, he was immediately synonymous with Spidey, which is the most consistently successful character in the MCU firmament. Fans loved getting to know him. 

The West End theater, rather than the cinema, is a veritable supermarket to shop for the next 007, which is why it was heartening to see Variety report that 27-year-old Brit Tom Francis, who was brilliant with Nicole Scherzinger in “Sunset Boulevard” on Broadway, had auditioned.

Hundreds surely have. But that’s the type they should choose. Not Jacob Elordi.

Someone whose initial introduction to us is, “The name’s Bond. James Bond.”