Mets owe it to Pete Alonso to sign slugger like J.D. Martinez or Jorge Soler

I have a weird job. And this may be the weirdest part of it.

I am someone who knows more about the Nasty Boys than the Nasdaq, yet am once again here to advise one of America’s all-time great investors how to invest his money.

Steve Cohen, who’s not only a billionaire but a decabillionaire, probably isn’t waiting in his Greenwich, Conn. office for me to tell him how to spend. I understand but am undeterred.

Several weeks back, I suggested Cohen surprise us and sign NL Cy Young winner Blake Snell and Josh Hader, the world’s best closer who isn’t Edwin Diaz.

Well, that two-tiered yacht presumably has long since sailed.

Hader, much to the crosstown Yankees’ chagrin, is the new closer for the Astros. And Snell, while still searching for a job, isn’t likely to join the Mets. While they checked in on him (they check in on everyone), new baseball president David Stearns seems done completing a solid and cost-efficient rotation.

The issue now is a hitter. The Mets need one. And cleanup hitter Pete Alonso deserves one in his walk year.

And guess what, lo and behold, two bona fide middle-of-the-order hitters remain unemployed. And don’t view J.D. Martinez and Jorge Soler as just two outstanding hitters but as two potential lineup protectors — and maybe even a couple potential bargains.

Teams often think alike, and these days everyone seems to prioritize outstanding starters, which may explain how Yoshinobu Yamamoto, a 5-foot-10 righthander who’s never thrown an MLB pitch, became the most coveted free-agent pitcher ever and eventually set a record with his $325 million Dodgers deal. (Even the Mets, who are mostly low-keying it this winter, offered $325 million.)

Meantime, teams are virtually ignoring some very accomplished hitters. Teoscar Hernandez had to sign a one-year deal. Not one hitter, except for the two-way great Shohei Ohtani, has signed for even $50 million this winter. (That will change once Cody Bellinger and Matt Chapman find jobs.)

I understand why Cohen and Company aren’t going crazy again in free agency this winter. The so-called Steve Cohen tax isn’t called that for nothing. The 110 percent rate over the biggest tax threshold was established with one man in mind — yes, Cohen, whose estimated net worth of close to $20 billion by Forbes gave competitors considerable and understandable cause for concern.

As of today, Cohen’s Mets are mostly giving their own fans something between concern and agita. While I like the moves they made, the fan expectation of annual billionaire-enhanced dynamo appears in jeopardy.

The fans deserve better. And so does Alonso, who’s managed to hit more home runs than anyone since coming into the league.

Alonso hit his usual 46 last year (45 is his average over 162 games) with a revolving door of No. 5-hitting hopefuls behind him. But his unsightly and uncharacteristic .217 batting average surely is result of being pitched around.

The Mets have done right by holding onto their homegrown slugger, but the lack of proven slugger to bat behind Alonso is a real weakness (and perhaps even a reason for Alonso to bolt as a free agent after the year).

As things stand, the Mets’ payroll still exceeds $300 million and is in fact only pennies behind that of the superteam Dodgers, who not only have Ohtani and Yamamoto but ample reason to believe they will be a World Series favorite for the foreseeable future. So, I get it. Cohen’s bills are high and so his expectations are lower, at least for 2024.

But there’s still a chance to fulfill the promise of competitiveness. The rotation that looked almost empty to start the winter now appears deeper than the AL favorite Yankees. The bullpen that looked even worse is still being constructed and may be OK upon completion.

The lineup? Well, that needs real help. And they shouldn’t eschew the obvious.

Martinez is one of baseball’s best and most consistent hitters. He batted cleanup for the National League in the All-Star Game last year, and there’s no way the Dodgers would have replaced him, if the greatest player in the world wasn’t their forever goal. His 134 OPS+ in 2023 was exactly one point higher than his excellent career mark.

Soler at his best is a one-man wrecking crew, someone who hit 48 homers playing home games at pitcher-friendly Kauffman Stadium and won the World Series MVP only a few years ago for the rival Braves. He actually outhomered Martinez last year (36 to 33) and his 28 fewer RBIs (103 to 75) may having something to do with being a Marlin and not a Dodger.

The Mets showed strong interest in Justin Turner, who just went to the Blue Jays, and would have made a lot of sense. But since there’s no evidence they ever made an offer for Turner, who did well to get $13 million and surely had a lower price tag than either Martinez or Soler, who are aiming for multi-year deals, I’m skeptical the Mets will make a concerted play for either hitter.

But after promising to compete this year, they owe it to their fans. What’s more, they owe it to Alonso.