Jets don’t have much to brag about with ‘kings of New York’ title

So here is a question for you:

Is it possible — is it even legal? — to secure bragging rights after a game such as this? The Jets beat the Giants 13-10 in one of the most horrifying displays of American football you’ll ever see, and were of no mind to brag. Somewhere Amos Alonzo Stagg is sobbing. Somewhere, Pop Warner is weeping. Somewhere, Vince Lombardi just tossed his clipboard to the ground and roars: “What the hell is going on out there?”

“We’re kings of New York for at least another year,” Robert Saleh said when this was over, but he smiled as he said it, and his tongue was planted so firmly in his cheek when he said it that you half expected “kings” to come out as “kingth.”

The Jets’ defense actually held the Giants to minus-9 passing yards. Think about that one. And now think about this: the Jets still almost lost, still should’ve lost, except for 28 seconds at the end of regulation that had to be seen to be believed – and there were 83,367 fans, 106 players, and about 25 coaches who still barely believed it.

“They never ask how,” Saleh said, same grin on his face, same tone that a kid uses when he tricks his mother into letting them stay home sick for the day. “They ask how many.”

Brian Daboll, Giants coach, was in a somewhat fouler mood.

“Tough loss,” he said. “This one hurts.”

Daboll understands he’s going to hear plenty about his decision to try a field goal with 28 seconds to go, up three, rather than trying to end the game on fourth-and-1, and he owned it right away — “I was perfectly willing to. I made [the] decision I thought was best for the team and I accept responsibility for that.” And for what it’s worth Saleh acknowledged, “I’d have made the same decision.”

But here’s the thing: he was playing with a third-string quarterback, and allowed Tommy DeVito to use about a half-page of the playbook (the one that essentially says “Give the ball to Saquon” on every snap). DeVito did provide one of the few instances of genuine happiness for either side, when the Jersey kid from Cedar Grove and Don Bosco Prep scored to cap the 11-play, 75-yard drive that kicked off the third quarter.

“I blacked out,” DeVito quipped about reaching the end zone 12 miles from his childhood bedroom, and he probably wasn’t joking

That — along with Breece Hall’s 50-yard mad dash late in the first quarter — was it.

Other than that?

The futility was almost beyond belief. The teams combined to go 4-for-29 on third downs. There were 24 punts. Jets quarterback Zach Wilson fumbled the ball twice in Giants territory — and the Giants took advantage to the tune of three whole points. Even the Giants’ lone touchdown was aided and abetted by a series of mindless Jets penalties.

For the Giants, it was understandable, especially once Tyrod Taylor was sent to the hospital with some busted ribs. As Daboll said, “The plan was going to be keep it on the ground quite a bit based on weather and how we thought the game would be played out.”

And damned if it didn’t almost work — and would’ve worked except for the fact that his formerly all-world placekicker, Graham Gano, flubbed field goals of 47 and 35 yards, the latter of which allowed the gasping Jets one last chance with 24 seconds to go. Two 29-yard passes, one spike, and one 35-yard Greg Zuerlein field goal later, the world was treated to an extra 4 minutes and 51 seconds of rainy, ridiculous ball before Zuerlein hit a 33-yarder to end it in overtime.

“We have some things to clean up,” Wilson said, and the project is on a par with trying to tidy up Oscar Madison’s bedroom. “But it’s good to learn off a W.”

In the end, that’s all that really matters. The Jets are 4-3, and breathing, winners of three straight. The Giants are 2-6 and suddenly things look awfully grim again. In time, the final score is all that folks will remember and not the football felonies that littered all 64 minutes and 51 seconds. By then it might not even be relevant that watching this game wasn’t unlike the advice another Hollywood Madison — this one Billy — once famously received from his principal paraphrased to fit the afternoon’s proceedings nicely:

“Everyone in this stadium is now dumber for having watched this game. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

The kings of New York. Maybe that’s akin to being the world’s tallest jockey. The Jets will take it. And run like hell. And leave the bragging to others.