Okay, fine, I want Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg to fight | TechCrunch

Elon Musk has dissatisfied me many instances. He bought my favorite social network and made it dangerous. He has mistreated workers throughout his firms, and he has completely ruined the enduring comedy of 420 and 69 jokes.

And in the present day, he received my hopes up that he was really going to cage combat Mark Zuckerberg.

I do know higher than to take something Elon says at face worth. I’ve been a part of quite a few editorial conversations about the right way to write a few man who runs a number of exceptionally highly effective firms, but consistently talks out of his ass and can’t ship on his guarantees. However one thing appeared completely different this morning, when he tweeted (sure, I’m nonetheless calling them tweets) that the combat was on.

“I spoke to the PM of Italy and Minister of Tradition. They’ve agreed on an epic location,” Musk wrote. “Every little thing accomplished pays respect to the previous and current of Italy.”

Appeared like a fairly definitive assertion! He even vowed to donate proceeds to veterans? However then, the Meta CEO needed to go and convey us again all the way down to Earth.

“I really like this sport and I’ve been able to combat because the day Elon challenged me,” Zuckerberg wrote on Threads, Meta’s Twitter competitor. “If he ever agrees on an precise date, you’ll hear it from me. Till then, please assume something he says has not been agreed on.”

Let’s get one factor out of the way in which: it is extremely humorous that the 2 CEOs are enjoying phone and sassing each other on the respective microblogging platforms that they personal, reasonably than really talking to one another. However that apart, Zuck’s publish dissatisfied me. For one factor, Darrell as soon as agreed to ship me to Rome to cowl the combat on the Colosseum, and I’m 99.99% certain that Darrell was joking, however hey, a squeaky wheel will get the grease. What’s key right here is that nobody at TechCrunch has definitively mentioned, “No, Amanda, we won’t pay so that you can go to Rome to look at two billionaires combat.”

However I’m not delusional. I do know that my want to eat recent pasta is just not an editorial precedence, although a lady can dream.

So why was I so dissatisfied to listen to from Zuck that Elon has as soon as once more let me down? It wasn’t as a result of I genuinely believed that I’d be going to Rome for the occasion. As an alternative, I needed to confront an inconvenient fact concerning the particular person I’ve develop into.

I need Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg to cage combat.

Musk and Zuckerberg each trigger me important misery — not simply because I write about them, however as a result of I care about humanity (and no, not within the Muskian means the place he appears to consider we must always all develop into baby-making machines in our little house pods on Mars). Zuckerberg’s choices as the pinnacle of a platform utilized by billions have partly led to genocide and the obstruction of democracy. Musk’s negligence relating to all issues content material moderation and platform security might engender related penalties. It’s exhausting to look at these highly effective males regularly make the identical errors, refusing to be taught from themselves or one another. After which, Congress steps in to attempt to regulate these firms, however inadvertently proposes legislation that simply makes things worse.

So, I made a cope with myself. If I’m going to put in writing about social media and keep sane, I must root for the dumbest issues doable to occur, as long as the implications don’t really trigger hurt. The Musk v. Zuckerberg cage combat is the proper illustration of this: it’s so silly, however the one individuals who will really get damage are the perpetrators of this stupidity themselves.

And that’s all earlier than we even get into the cage combat itself. I really like watching males fall sufferer to their very own hubris — name me Homer — and that’s precisely what Musk has coming for him.

When he’s not making an attempt to persuade us to put on VR headsets all day, Zuckerberg is getting swole. Actually. He’s discovered the time to win Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu tournaments, all whereas arising with one-liners to get buyers off his again about how much money Reality Labs is losing.

Musk, in the meantime, has spent his free time commissioning huge, unlawful light installations and suing non-profit hate speech watchdogs.

Zuckerberg is so undeniably the favourite to win this combat, however Musk can’t again down as a result of he’s already made a public dedication. It’s like when he pledged $44 billion to purchase Twitter after which modified his thoughts, besides this time, there’s not even any cash at stake.

I don’t even care to look at the precise combat — that’s not what pursuits me. It’s the fragility of the male ego, for me.

You’ll be able to have extra money than anybody on the planet, but nonetheless have such a fragile sense of self that you just’ll comply with get your ass kicked inside an historical world surprise. A minimum of Elon and I can agree on one factor: human nature is unbelievable.